I’ve had a really gnarly couple of days with my eye. I went to cover a conference for work and ended up having an eye infection that hasn’t fully gone away since I’ve returned. Then I got back home and allergies made the eye irritation even worse, so suffice it to say, I’ve been operating at 50% of my eyesight and a lot of pain.
On one level I’m like “yay” because I managed to do a lot of work during that time; I wrote eight articles in two days and edited twice as many articles in that same amount of time. Yet at the same time, the work was hard, I made mistakes and I’m still fighting eye strain and a headache that’s lasted for a week. I am not at my best, physically or emotionally.
I feel like swimming against the current is one of the major changes that has impacted my life post kc-diagnosis. Before, I could push myself physically in the work that I do and for the most part bounce back quickly. I didn’t think much about taking on a lot of work in different levels because even if I was tired, I could manage it all, and now that’s not possible for me.
I think the hardest part of life now is knowing when to swim, figuratively, of course, knowing that the tide is hard pushing against me. I feel like managing my eyesight and what I can do is like another job and takes energy away from what I want to be doing, on a professional or personal level. And I get tired of it, though it’s a necessary evil. I think I’m ready to stop swimming, and by that I mean, make some major efforts to slow down my life and focus on my eye health and hopeful recovery but I hope the tide will take me to shore, rather than pulling me under.